To Fit Another September Post In...

...I will stop at nothing.
Today, I spent four hours looking up fountain pens on the internets. Yes. Not for any particular reason, just for shits. My how time flies when you're hopelessly bored. Slash, no.
Despite my earlier claim that school is my driving force, there are several reasons why it is not fulfilling my need for direction as of yet.

1. I have not bought the necessary texts because I have no fucking money.
2. I have no fucking money and therefore cannot buy the good food that would make me feel like I have any kind of energy at all.
3. I am a wee bit on the depressed side of lonely and bored, and I am therefore finding it hard to get motivated.
4. I have no fucking money, and this is the main preoccupation of my mind currently.

So instead, I use my internet connection for evil, not for good, and kill time watching sitcoms on tvlinks and looking up fountain pens.
God, they're so hot, some of them.
I read so many blogs today that epitomize what I am terrified of becoming.
Because you know what?
I hate to admit it...
but I'm a hobbyist/collector waiting to happen.
Up until this point, I've quelled my urge to obsess through smoking, both grass and tobacco, drinking, doing dangerous things with my body and my self, eating too much, having too much sex, and engaging in obsessive insecurity in relationships.
But now that I have cut most of the above out of my lifestyle, and now that I am also trying like hell not to return to them in any way, I find myself becoming the healthy nerd I was in public school. I collect facts about strange things, revel in the entirely uncool and bathe myself in habitual behaviour of the third kind.
That kind being the stationary, web-based variety.

Here is what I would rather be doing with this energy.

1. Working out
2. Learning how to cook for myself
3. Doing my fucking laundry
4. Obsessively reading and writing
5. Meeting new and interesting people
6. Talking to people at coffee shops about their random experiences
7. Learning more sweet guitar riffs
8. Teaching my guinea pig tricks
9. Drinking more water
10. Holding fortnightly fancy soirees
11. Listening to new music
12. Learning how to play the harmonica
13. Styling my hair
14. Plucking my goddamn eyebrows with a vengeance

Now. This is not to say that I am not doing some of the above things. Numbers 6, 9, and 14 are happening on occasion. And I did build my G.P. a sweet little house with an awning and everything out of carboard the other day. And number 7 can now begin thanks to the kindness of a one Ms. L.P., who loaned me her daughter's underused fender acoustic.
Some of these things cannot happen however. Because items 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, and 13 (now that I've run out of the last of my hair products) require money. Which I don't fucking have. The others that I have yet to start are due to my complete lack of motivation. NOT that there's an excuse for that, but whatever.
So here I am, having retained nothing un-nerdy to say thanks to a day spent washing my eyeballs in electronic glow. And dammit, I'm going to post this miserable piece of work, because if nothing else, I will consider it an accomplishment among few for this lame September month. Fuck. Almost as bad as that Green Day song that makes me want to pluck my eardrums out with barbecue tongs.
I digress.