Here's What Happened.

As far as I can tell, the girl I loved for the past two years was actually a small inside part of a much larger person. Like a virus or something. So the girl I loved was the affliction of this other girl, who kind of acted like her biological host. And just recently, the girl I loved died. Her biological host killed her off. So she was never really that person who is so excrutiatingly shallow and selfish and without scruples. She was just some temporary state that particular horrible, valueless, whoreish, completely dependant person existed in for two years! That explains everything! That softness in her eyes was the fever of a virus. So now I just need to find someone else who has that same decent, upstanding, soft, honest, heartfelt virus in them! Easy peasy, right? Right?
Grr.
Or maybe love is real somewhere, with someone. You never know.